Entry 5

As evident, I posted four blogs in a row since I went home for labor-day weekend to visit my family. It is now Monday night and I will be caught up with my blog postings after this one. I want to focus this blog on something that has been on my mind a lot recently, as I am getting closer to turning 21……

(I am adopted. My birth-parents were U of A students and unable to take care of a child. On December 20, 1988, I was adopted from the UMC and had not been back to Tucson until college. I have still never met my birth-parents and am beginning to think about finding them more and more…)

There are too many questions about myself that I cannot even answer. There are so many things about my origins, roots, and medical conditions that I do not know. I constantly wonder if I have any other siblings out there. While I have been content not knowing these answers my whole life up until this point, this uncertainty is starting to take over me.

I NEED TO KNOW THIS ANSWERS. I had always debated whether there was actually a point of meeting my birth mom or not. I often thought it would be the wrong choice and I would find out something awful that I did not want to know. For a while I was scared of the truth and subconsciously something has blocked me from exploring the truth.

Now, I NEED THE TRUTH. I need to solve these endless questions I have about MYSELF. As I am almost turning 21, it is not longer a question of whether or not I am going to try and meet my birth mom; it is now a question of when. I have made up my mind that I WANT to meet my birth mom and want to have a talk with her. Even if this is not possible, I want to know that I TRIED to meet her and made an attempt to learn information about myself.

I am so thankful for my parents for raising me my entire life and providing me with an excellent upbringing. I am also thankful to my birth mom for understanding she couldn’t take care of me and giving me to people who could. I have come to the realization that I am old enough to handle the truth about my birth mom. Truthfully, I am at a point where I just need to know the truth so badly that I just want to know, even if its bad.

I know that I am who I am today because of my parents, yet my physical features and biological roots belong to my birth parents. I feel as though I will always feel somewhat incomplete if I do not take an attempt to meet my birthparents. I truly believe something miraculous brought me back to Tucson and the University of Arizona

Last year, I would sit on the roof of my fraternity and stare at the UMC where I was born. The hospital was a 2 minute walk from my house! I was sitting so close to the place of my birth that I started to believe I was destined to return and meet my birth mom. IT IS TIME TO FIND MY BIRTH MOM